The Piercing Radiant Moon
by Dark Mousy
Summary: (A/V, possible A/I) Ceres grows tired of her existence, and tries to starve herself against her Master's demands. The biblical plague of forty days and forty nights of rain has come to effect, yet Integra knows something that she has not revealed...
1. Rain

The piercing radiant moon.. The storming of poor June. All the life running. Through her hair.  
  
  
  
It was dark, cold, musty, dank, and wet. It was the perfect atmosphere for all around misery.  
  
Ceres felt this misery, and even her vampiric blood grew cold within her veins. She could still feel the weight upon her. That servitude imposed upon her by Alucard. She could feel it, like a collar around her neck, and yet. She had refused to drink his blood. She had refused to take herself from the blissful curse of her master.  
  
It had been raining straight for weeks on end, and even the prosperous mansion was beginning to let water through from not having the least chance to dry. It was dripping through the stone of her room, and the only thing that remained dry was her bedding, since she closed her coffin.  
  
She was sitting at the table, where the ice had melted from the constant patter of rain into the bucket. She reached her hand in, and shivered, while she fished for the bag of blood. Once she found it, she took it out, tore it open, and began to drink.  
  
She was not thirsty, but so tired. She was tired of being cold, wet, and miserable. There hadn't been a job, or even a slight disturbance, since the rain began and the Hellsing mansion could not even repair the damages done by the invasion since everything was wet. Cold, wet, and miserable.  
  
The room was growing more closing by the minute. She had been in it far too long. The only visits had been from Walter and some of the other, surviving Hellsing members. As for Alucard, she had neither heard nor seen him. Her Master. her insane inner demon.  
  
"Bloody." She murmured, as she dropped the empty, red-stained bag into the bucket. It was so cold. Nothing like what real blood was. Only Alucard knew that pleasure. She would not dare to partake. She was his slave.  
  
"And a slave to this damned room!" She yelled, then shivered. Nothing felt clean, or warm, or dry. Everything was damp. It was flooding over in some places of the city, and she had not even seen the light of neither day nor night for the weeks since the rain started. For all she knew the road could have been turned into a river, and she wouldn't know until she was washed away.  
  
She shivered again, and finally exited her room. The blood had not helped to warm her, as it was cold, incredibly cold. The image of Alucard taking that woman's life along with her blood still stained her mind. Deep down, she wanted to believe that Alucard was not a monster. Yet outside, she knew he was, and there was nothing that she wanted to do to change that. It was not her place.  
  
Ceres ascended the stairs, and into the main, extravagant hall of the mansion. Even that had lost its majesty, as she could hear dripping everywhere.  
  
Drip.Drip.Drip. Her mind filled with visions, visions of blood dripping down from alabaster stone.  
  
Ceres put her hands on her head, and shook. As if trying to get the images from her mind, yet the dripping continued. Why couldn't they make it stop? Where was everyone? Was it daylight?  
  
The rains had been on for so long the sun had not been shown, and Integra hated clocks within the main halls of the mansion so she had no way to tell the time. She was so lonely. So cold.  
  
"I was wondering when you would leave the confines of your room, Police Girl."  
  
  
  
AN: This takes place after Episode 6. AU. Alucard/Ceres, or however anyone wants to spell her name. 


	2. Sweet Sleep

Approaching guiding light,
    
    Our shallow years in fright,
    
    Dreams are made winding through my head…
    
                   "It wouldn't hurt to visit me, you know." She almost spat back, as she slowly sat on the cold stone floor. "Where is everyone?"
    
                   "I am not their keeper." Alucard returned, before he materialized from the shadows to stand in front of her. "Nor are you, so you shouldn't care."
    
                   Ceres looked up to him with a mixed expression, before she looked back to the damp ground. She stayed silent, and Alucard merely looked down to her.
    
                   "That is for you, to help you from your boredom these weeks." His hand elegantly gestured to the stairs, where at the bottom sat a Pathephone. The wood was cleaned, yet old, and the brass speaker was well shined. "It is from 1906, I hope you enjoy it."
    
                   Ceres only blinked, as she walked over to the Pathephone with a wondered expression. She had seen pictures of some, but had never actually been able to touch one. There was already a record on it, and she looked to him before putting the needle on it. As quiet as she had been, she began winding the box… Hearing the clicks whir, and whir, and whir. She couldn't stop… It was so strange, yet enjoyable. Just the slow, winding motion, and the methodical clicks. 
    
                   "I think that's enough." Alucard held a smirk, as he watched from a few feet off.  
    
                   She nodded, before letting the handle go. The record began to play, a soft cello instrumental.
    
                   Her eyes felt… So heavy. "Master…"
    
                   "Ssh, Ceres. Just listen."
    
                   So she did. She listened to the soft, low, haunting cello as it played its sad tune. It took away the sound of the dripping through the elegant halls, and for that she was thankful. She soon became unaware of even Alucard.
    
                   There was something so strange about that music; something so strange about the pathephone. Strange the way that it encompassed her in its sad tune – strange the way that it filled her mind with its winding… Click, click, click… Drip, drip, drip…
    
                   "Mas..." She began to speak, before she slowly sat down next to the record, still playing. She rested her chin in her hands, and closed her eyes. It was making her eyelids so heavy…
    
                   And she faintly felt his arms around her before she fell asleep.
    
    ---
    
                   The music haunted her dreams; her thoughts; her soul. The warmth of Alucard's human body encompassed hers, and she felt at a haunted ease. What had happened? 
    
                   Her eyes eased open, and it was dark. Consuming darkness… Not the vague, dim darkness of her room. There was no dripping, no feeling of dampness – not even of the humidity. She felt not only warm, but also dry; and without the dirty feeling that being wet and cold meant. She opened her mouth to say something, yet nothing came out.
    
                   "I hope you enjoyed your gift." Alucard's low, seductive voice whispered behind her ear, and it was then she realized she was resting against him. 
    
                   "Where am I?"
    
                   "Do you care?"
    
                   "No…"
    
                   "Good."
    
                   "Why…?"
    
                   "Why what, Police Girl?"
    
                   "What was that…"
    
                   "Do you care?"
    
                   "Yes…"
    
                   "Good."
    
                   She sighed. She held her arms to herself, and felt Alucard's arms cover her own. Her mind felt hazy, and the sound of the music played in the deep recesses of her mind. His warmth could not cover the questions in her mind. "I do care."
    
                   "It is to be expected. However, are you bored?"
    
                   "No."
    
                   "Good." He paused. "Outside the rains are falling… They have been for twenty-one days." 
    
                   Ceres concentrated, and through the soft music in her mind she could hear the rains hitting the Hellsing mansion.
    
                   "They will continue for forty days… However, this will not be according to the history. This is not to wipe us of the face of the earth… Merely to punish us."
    
                   "How do you know this…"
    
                   "Do you care?"
    
                   "Yes."
    
                   "Good. But that, only Integra knows, and I will not disclose."
    
                   "Why are you telling me this?"
    
                   "Why do you ask so many questions, Police Girl?"
    
                   "Because…"
    
                   "Shh… Just listen, Ceres."
    
                   She closed her eyes to the darkness again, and began to hear the music again. There was no winding; only the music, in the silence of wherever Alucard had taken her. The effects were the same, although she fought them… She fought the heaviness of her eyelids, and the calling of her body to sleep.
    
                   She failed, and she fell into the land of dreams, with Alucard holding her.


	3. It Was There

_Through my head,_
    
    _Before you know, Awake,_
    
    _Your lives are open wide,_
    
    _The V-chip gives them sight,_
    
    _All the life running through her hair._
    
                   She awoke, in a place she had not always been but a place that she would always be; in the dimness of her room, and the dripping of the falling rain…
    
                   It was there, in a place she had not always been but a place that she would always be that the soft music played, and played, and wound, and played… Who was winding the box?
    
                   It was there. In a place she had not always been but a place that she would always be that she truly felt alone. With the cold stone walls and the soft candlelight as her only companions, it was there that she began to regret. It was there that the thoughts of truly being a monster began to overtake her.
    
                   She rose to sit up, and rubbed her back. The bucket was there - fresh, iced, with the water from the ceiling slowly melting the ice away. 
    
                   It was there. In a place she had not always been but a place that she would always be that she threw the bucket from the table, and drove the candles into the wall… and cried.
    
                   ---
    
                   _"Police girl."_
    
    _               "I don't… want to hear it."_
    
    _               "Drink it."_
    
    _               "No. I just… can't."_
    
    _               "You have to stay alive."_
    
    _               "I'm already dead! I don't want to turn out like you!"_
    
    There was silence, and Ceres could only sink to the floor. He had left her mind, and she had left herself. He was a monster… She had never expected things to turn out how they had. Her eyes closed.
    
                   'I know you don't want to die tonight…'
    
                   "I should have." She told herself, against the memory she had of him. The mansion had been empty… No one would notice. "If vampires… can diminish without drinking…" She looked down to the floor, where only darkness greeted her. "Then it is one less."
    
                   She knelt down; and held herself, as Alucard had held her. "Master…" She murmured, before she closed her eyes, and moved to lie down on the cold, wet ground.
    
                   It was there, in a place that she had not always been but in a place that she would leave… That she slept.


	4. Starvation

_The spiders all in tune,_
    
    _The evening of the moon,_
    
    _Dreams are made winding through my head._ 
    
                   It was hard to tell whether it was night or day, as the rain kept pouring down. The Vampires – it seemed – had gone on some long awaited holiday from their rampaging. This, in turn, gave Hellsing a long holiday.
    
                        What little Ceres had heard of Walter would be about the snuff films he was trying to decipher, as well as the one which had a special guest star of a Hellsing member. He had come to visit her once, and had asked about her overly pale complexion but she had only replied that it was the lack of anything besides the room.
    
                        She had shut her mind off to Alucard; but she doubted that he would try anyway. He was her master… And yet, he did not enforce any type of punishment upon her for disobeying him. Did he even care? Did she want him to?
    
                        Ceres stood under a leak, soaking wet. She had gone to help Walter and a few other Hellsing members to try and set up pots around the mansion to collect the water rather than the floor. All she could hear was Integra speaking quietly, yet angrily… Most likely speaking to Alucard. They always spoke. Was she jealous?
    
                        The dripping seemed to only amplify, as now the water was hitting empty steel pots. Yet this gave Walter and herself a chance to actually begin to mop up the pooled marble floors. Yet, even this did not deter her mind, as she tried to decipher the faint words of Alucard and Integra. How far off were they? 'Why can't I hear them?'
    
                        "Miss Victoria…" Walter said, as he wiped his brow. "You look deathly faint. Perhaps you should rest. I can handle the rest."
    
                        "I'm fine Walter, really. It's no trouble at all." She offered a half-smile, which was far less than she had planned it to be.
    
                        "Miss Victoria." 
    
                        "Oh, alright." She gave a soft groan, before she set the mop down. In truth, she was tired… Extremely tired. But it was only to be expected; she wanted to starve herself, since she could see no feasible and painless way of 'killing' herself.
    
                        ---
    
                        Once in her room, she found yet another bag of blood, and the pathephone sitting on a chair in the left corner. With great resistance, she opened the bag of blood, and quickly disposed of the crimson fluid into the toilet. There was a separate door to her right leading to the shower, and she used that wastebasket to discard of the bag.
    
                        She began to wind the box, over, and over again. The clicks and the whirs began again, and as the record turned, she placed the needle on the worn record. It began to play the same, haunting melody. Just the tune sent shivers up her spine, and she rubbed the goose bumps from her arms as she sat down onto the bed.
    
                        Alucard had not spoken to her since. Deep inside, she felt guilty for what she said to him. Yet… When she went down to his lair, blood was splayed everywhere. The vampire he had killed had suffered a bloody fate. Alucard had seemed only more sardonic after the invasion had ended, and the knights' departure.
    
                        She sighed, and shivered from the cold. Her body had grown weak from the starvation; and it was taking more tolls on her than she believed it could. She was in servitude to him – and it was killing her inside to resist what he asked, no, demanded her to do.
    
                        "Master…"


	5. Force

_Through my head,_

_Before you know, Awake._
    
    _Through my head,_
    
    _Before you know,_
    
    _Before you know I will be waiting all awake._
    
                        The days had passed in silence, and she had not moved. She was surrounded in the dank darkness of her room, and had been so for over four days. She could not sleep – the hunger was eating at her insides; causing her to writhe in pain whenever some form of comfort surrounded her. In the night, when she was most awake, she would cry out her pain to four stone walls that only magnified her voice… to bring it back to herself.
    
                        Walter had come every 'morning' and 'night' to bring a new bag of blood, which quickly got flushed. It was hard to resist the urge, now – so very hard to fight it. Her mind was filled with thoughts of it; coursing through, warm, sweet, bitter, delicious, filling, sensual… It was all there, and all out of her reach.
    
                        Ceres wondered, silently, what exactly would happen when her body could take no more and failed. This brought her to thoughts of hell, which she knew that was her final destination. Would Alucard even care? Why did she even care?
    
                        He had tried into her mind, pried, probed… Yet she had not let him through. She did not wish to hear whatever words he wanted to say to her. It was crazy to try and listen… He would convince her, one way or the other, and she could not take that.
    
                        ---
    
                        _"Police girl."_
    
    _                    Sleep… How could I have fallen asleep?_
    
    _                    "Police girl."_
    
    _                    "Master…"_
    
    _                    "Trying to starve yourself? What good will that do you?"_
    
    _                    "I told you…"_
    
    _                    "That you do not wish to turn out as I have?" She heard his low, deep chuckle in the back of her mind. "You cannot be like me, Ceres. Drink the blood."_
    
    _                    "No."_
    
    _                    "Do as I say."_
    
    _                    "I'm… sorry. I can't. I just can't anymore."_
    
    Silence. And she awoke, with a cold sweat upon her body and her breathing rash. Had he been waiting all this time for her merely to fall asleep? 
    
                        "Ceres Victoria."
    
                        Ceres yelped, and jumped; quickly falling off the bed and onto the stone floor with a groan. She was terrified.
    
                        "You can't… hurt me… I'll tell…"
    
                        "Who would you tell?"
    
                        Out of the soft candlelight, she could see his teeth gleam maliciously. The gloss of his hat came from the darkness, before his full body. In one hand, he held a wine glass; save for that it was not wine. She could smell it even from where she lied on the floor. 
    
                        "Ugh…" She got up to sit down, then pushed herself up and back into her bed. 
    
                        "Temptation is quite the bitch, isn't it." His grin seemed to only grow wider, as he swirled the contents in the wine glass.
    
                        "Why are you doing this?" Her tone was quiet, but angry.
    
                        "Because you have disobeyed my wishes." He rose from his comfortable sitting position, and moved to sit next to her on the bed. She tensed, and tried to scoot away, as the smell had only grown stronger.
    
                        Alucard held the glass out, right in front of her. "Drink it. It is warmer than what you usually would have. Perhaps you will like it more."
    
                        Ceres only shook her head, and tried to move away from what he offered her, yet his arm at her back kept her in her place. She considered struggling, but she already knew it would be to no avail. "Just leave me be…"
    
                        "The choice was yours, Police girl."
    
                        "And this choice is mine!"
    
                        "Not while you serve me." His voice remained cool, as he moved closer to her in order to better hold her in place. Yet she did not drink, and he admired her stubbornness quietly. 
    
                        Ceres was surprised when he took a small sip, and set the glass down on the floor. He was quiet, and she was as well. 
    
                        "Mas…" She began, before he sighed as he took off his hat. She wanted him to leave… But a part of her didn't.
    
                        It was then she realized that his grip on her had tightened; and he had gotten much closer while she had been silent. Her mouth opened to ask what he was still doing in her room; but it was covered first. 
    
                        It was not sweet, nor was it chaste. It was not lustful, memorable, wonderfully terrifying, or bitter. It was a horrific experience. His body was warm – his lips were sweetly salty, and her body practically convulsed at the first slight feeling of the blood running down her throat. The hunger seemed to come back tenfold.
    
                        His tongue had found its way into her mouth, and she found herself relaxing completely at the wonderful taste of blood… He had forced her. Now that she had had a taste her body was trembling with the need for it. 
    
                        And just as he had done so – he moved away from her, with his trademark grin that shone like an evil omen in her room. 
    
                        … All Ceres could do was take the glass from the floor, and drink until there was nothing left. In her heart, she hated him profusely for forcing her into drinking against all her will… And with a kiss.


	6. Understanding

Dreams are made winding through her hair, Dreams are made winding through her hair.  
  
  
  
Her breaths were short, yet softer than before. She was sweetly full; and already she could feel the strength returning to her. Yet, with that, the puncture marks on her neck began to give a soft, sensual burn.  
  
Alucard still sat quietly by her, licking his lips of any excess. He had only chuckled as she struggled to down the glass in less than a second. After she had finished, he rose.  
  
The winding. All over again. He winded the pathephone over, and over, and the clicks and whirs began again. The needle scratched the surface of the record, before it began to play. It was like a mantra; it filled her mind with the music and the music alone; the only other thoughts she had were of her master, and yet the music continued to play.  
  
The record had grown worn from the sharp needle, and so every now and then the playing of the record would slow as it struggled over a groove - creating a less than appealing, haunting tune. She had played it every day, all the time. When it was done, she would wind, and wind, and wind, and then listen to the record again. Over, and over, and over, until all she could think of was that music.that tune.that. silent whispering within the notes.  
  
She was lost again. The inside of her mouth burned with the touch of his saliva and her body ached from the need that had only seconds ago been fulfilled. If only she had taken his blood when he offered. She could have been free from the 'life' he had given her.  
  
Ceres remembered vaguely. the night that she had been changed. When her true blood had been taken and replaced by blood that turned her thirsty for it - needy for it. Alucard. He could have just killed them both, without regard. He could have left her on the steps of the church to die along with the priest. Just to die, and be gone from the face of the world.  
  
"It was. my choice." She murmured, through tired lips and slurred words. The music seemed to be louder, haunting, consuming. She wanted it all to just end. She wanted it all to just be over. She was tired of the killing, the fighting, and the wounds that she and Alucard would acquire.  
  
"Why is Sir Integra your master?" Ceres fought the music, just this once, to ask her question. She could see the posture in Alucard's form change, before he blew out the candles. The room was surrounded in complete darkness. "Why did you hold me, in my dreams? Why did you go through this? Tell me why, Alucard. I need to."  
  
"You do not need to understand, merely to believe."  
  
"I need to understand in order to believe."  
  
"Your human side is saying that."  
  
"At least I have a human side left."  
  
Alucard whistled softly under his breath. "Not bad, Ceres Victoria. Not bad at all."  
  
"I'm not a piece of glass, you know. And I'm not just a police girl. I need to know you."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Stop. contradicting me, Alucard."  
  
"Do not give me orders, Police Girl."  
  
"Master."  
  
"Quiet. Just listen, Ceres. Quiet your thoughts and listen."  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You can, and you will." 


End file.
